Harry Potter and the Asian Cult
by 666EVIL666
Summary: Harry Potter isn't who everyone thinks he is. . . read to find out why. . .
1. The azn kult

Dishklaimer – I doesn`t own Hary Pootter, if I ded; It would be in Ayzah adn VoLdEmOrT would won. so dun`t shoe me!!1!!1!!

* * *

Once upon a thyme, their was a evil dark wizard name voldemort, he was a bad, bad man. He was also very un-asian.

Voldamort meet a man named james potter and ask him if he want to join the death eater kult.

Jame reply "no way, i'm part of dah azn wannabe kult."

Voldemort say "omg omg LEMME JOINNNN."

"nooooo, u cant joinnn. Only people that are have glasses can join."

Voldemort exploded.

Jamez and Lilly Pooter both dyed and theyre son; harry potter was left with a cut in his fourhead wich look lik a thunder bowl.

Then a man name dumbodore came to the house. He say ``Voldemort is ded!! WOOOT!!!!!! But he be back in 13 year. Just cuz i sez so!! Now i give harry pooeter to his ugly and fatty NON AYZAN relitives!"

Meanwile:

Serious black was wlaking down the street. He Yell: "IMA KILL U PETER!"

Peter yell back "SERIUS UR A TRAIOTOR AND UR NOT AZN!"  
Serius gaspeped!

'not azn'

"I KILL YOUUUUU FOOOOOL!"

""BUT UT NOT AZN"  
"NOT AYZAN!? WACH DIS!" "BANKAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!"

Da strete dey were on was exploded!

15 muggle die and peter finger exloded!

Sireus back was arrest of the murder of a bunch of ppl and peturr was given a honorery azn badge!

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IM AZN SO REVIEW OR I HYRE SAMERAIS TO ATTECK U!11!!!!

* * *


	2. The fatty

Dishclaimer: see chaptter 1

* * *

10 year later:

*KNOCK KNOK*

"Wayke up boii"

Harry woked up with a sturt.

His ant Pertunya wuz knowing on the cubbord door wear he sleep.

Sudenly the house door explodeded.

A giant man walkeded in.

Pertyunya gaspd!

"NO NO NO!! U IS FROM THE AZN KULT!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

The big man scratch his head.

"Whats a azn kult??"

"GET OUT OF MY HOUSE U FREAKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!"

"I'm notta freak u beyotch!"

"Ima azn gansturrrrr"

"FEAr MY AZN-NESS!"

Harryy looked at the fat guy.

"But ur a white man."

The fatty gasped.

"IM AZN"

"No u isn't"

"Scrwe u harry potty"

"Abracadabra"

Harry giggled.

"HAHA SUCKER U BELIEVES IN MAGICS"

"Magic is real fool! And u baka, ur a wizard two!"

Harry blunked.

"Then this should work."

He razed hiz hand.

"Explodus Totalis"

The house exploded.

The dursleys and the fatty died

Harry smiled

"Now thats azn skill fool"~

Meanwile:

Dumbolddork was watching gay p- ; I maen he was educating himshelf with the mall anatony when a buzzy sound went off

*BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP*

*BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP*

*BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP*

"OOOOOOH POPCORNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN"

Meanwile in Azkaban:

Serius black was cryig himself to sleep

"I WANNA GO HOMEEEEEEEEEE"

Sum guy shouted "SHUT UP U NON-AZN JERK!"

Serius glare at him.

"Screw u IM AZN"  
"BANKAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!1!!!!!one!!1!"

Azkaban blewed up.

Serius got himmself aressted agayn.

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I WANNA HAVE MORE REVIEWWWWZ!!! REVIEW OR IMA GO AZN ON UR ASS!

* * *


	3. SuJu ROX

Disclaimer: I dun own Harry Potthar..

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After the azn moment had wored off: Harry went and to Diagonalley.

It was a very white place. . there was no Asians there,

Suddenly harry jumped. There was an azn chick there. She was hot. He went up to her and aske her "Yo baby gurl do ya wanna go to the Maximem the Whoremone concert wiff me?"

She sed "Ewwwww MTH suxxxx. Everyone nose that Suju is da best."

Harry ranned away because he was so un-azn that he had never heard of SuJu.

(AN: SRSLY SUJU RULES U FOOLS)

Harry wander into a bunch of cloth stores and buy a bunch of cloths for school He also buy a wand and a sword.

Then harry came in the bookstore. It felt nice.

She saw a book that sed :DEARTH NOTE: in it.

It sed inside that ppl who's names was write in this would die.

Harry keep the book and ran away cuz he saw a fat guy that look lyke the fatty who came in his house which he blewed up.

Meanwile:

Dumbbledore was eating poopkorn. He though it tasted funny. He call Snape to check.

Dumble say "yo wazzap my non-asian frend? Taste my stuff four me!"

Sneap looked at him.

He licked the stuff.

"EWWWWWW THIS POOPKORN IS NOT AZN."

"Neider are u"

"Avada Krabba"

Dumbledorrs popcorn turned onto a crab.

"Thankk yous sevvie" He sed.

"IM ASHAIN BITCH"

"and im da king of japan"

"rightttttttttttttttttt"

"IM THE KING OF JAPAN"

"sure u is"

"SCREW U, IM THE KING OF JAPAN!!!!!!!111!!!oneone!!!one11!!!"

Meanwile in jail:

Sireus said "PLZ NO MOREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE"

The guy comed closer.

He stuck his thingy into Serius's you-know-what.

Again.

"OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!1!1!!oneone!!11ONEEEEEE!!!!

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REVIEW OTHERWISE I WONT UPDATE THIS AWEOSME STORY!!1!!!! I WANT 5 MORE REVeiwS!


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